If You Can't Downvote It, You Can Probably Slash Its Tires

Tune in for the winter break Terrible-Moviethon, which I inanely opted for over a Miyazaki Marathon! (Newest: Judge Dredd, 12/21/06, Facing the Giants, 12/20/06, Battlefield Earth, 12/14/06, From Justin to Kelly, 12/13/06)

No real update on The Golden Nopes since it just isn't worth it. The presence of The Devil Wears Prada is certainly pleasant, but each single legitimate decision is engulfed by two or three Babel and Little Children-isms of the biz, the very worst in sickening awards show pandering. Tune out until the Oscars, that's the key; why bother with the small fries when the big ones still make hilarious missteps by way of knocking over equipment and unearthing cinematic legends who are no longer able to read the teleprompters?

New
The Black Dahlia - *1/2
Duck Season - ***
Edmond - *
Facing the Giants - 1/2
The Great Yokai War - **1/2
The Hidden Blade - **1/2
Little Man - Zero!
Man of the Year - ** '
Marie Antoinette - **1/2 '
School for Scoundrels - *1/2

Older
Babel - *1/2
Borat - **1/2
Casino Royale - *** '
Fast Food Nation - **
Flushed Away - ***1/2
Gridiron Gang - *
The Grudge 2 - 1/2
The Guardian - ** '
Kekexili: Mountain Patrol - *** '
Neil Young: Heart of Gold - **1/2 '
The Prestige - ***
Running With Scissors - Zero!
Stranger than Fiction - **1/2

Recently Viewed
Battlefield Earth - 1/2 (10)
The Devil Wears Prada - *** ' (73)
From Justin to Kelly - 1/2 (10)
Going Overboard - Zero! (1)
House of the Dead - 1/2 (12)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - *** ' (71) (That held up surprisingly well. I credit, at least in part, the abundance of self-reflexive historical gags; see also National Treasure, where Nick Cage steals the Declaration of Independence and the gift shop makes him pay for the replica.)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - **1/2 (52) (Still passable by today's standards given that it's semi-legitimate entertainment, which honestly worries me a bit. Remember the part in Battlefield Earth where the native yells "BAGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" when his friend is shot down? That was awesome.)
Judge Dredd - * (17)
Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace - * (15)
Masterminds - **1/2 ' (56) (Reasonably engrossing material, if sullied footage re-creation tactics. "An unparalled salesman and launderer, he was at the top of his game ... UNTIL--" Cue freeze frame. And soft-focus.)
The Omega Code - 1/2 (11)
Patton - ***1/2 (82)
Pi - *1/2 (22) (i.e. We're All Mathematically Connected, though truthfully it's pretty pathetic Aronofsky expects his petty referencing of Euclid or Archimedes to pass as legitimate mathematical analysis, or as proof that indeed such intricate patterns can be found in nature. Or in this case, the stock market - trust me bud, it doesn't work like that. So this is where the inspiration for Requiem for a Dream came from, as the man takes his pain medication, DJ Darren hops up the action with sound effects-heavy quick cuts and close-ups - WSSSSSSH whir TOCK glug glug glug glug SSSSSSSSSAH! - while the music takes a page from Rez and syncs up with the action on screen, though unsurprisingly it's nowhere near as relevant or as expertly crafted. None of the people matter, which is probably why you know nothing about any of them, and next to nothing about the "hero," seeing as Aronofsky's too busy weaving savvy ties where they don't exist and invoking callings of religion and higher authority to augment the authenticity factor. It's dismal when Aronofsky goes for FX on his 16 mm - i.e. the 360 around the cranium, which didn't work in Primer either, though there it was more hilarious since Shane Carruth just sorta stood there agape - but utterly sad when spiral mise-en-scene is purposely employed to buff up the film's mathemamumbo-jumbo. Essentially it's one great scene - i.e. when Max hallucinates himself embracing his initially amorous next-door-neighbor then wakes up and understands he's reaped emptiness from his life of obsession and hysteria - amidst a sea of trash. 22 comes out to a low 3 on a 1-10 scale, which unintentionally enough works out at close to 3.14159... Fancy that)
Z - *** ' (71)